Barbie and me

Last night I attended a class held at one of the local sweating holes with my housemate. I don’t have a membership at the gym we attended, but I managed to get in on the pretence that I was interested in joining. I was dragged along to the gym, thinking we would be doing our own thing and I would get the chance to do some much needed lunges and squats. Unbeknownst to me, on our arrival, I was whisked into the gym by my housemate and told that we urgently needed to ‘reserve our spot’ in the class. “Which class?” I casually asked. The response wasn’t exactly what I was anticipating. We were attending a ‘Running Class’. What is a running class you ask? Why, funny you should inquire, because that’s EXACTLY what I was pondering. Does everyone climb on a treadmill and run in time to music? Does everyone learn preparatory techniques like stretches and core strengthening exercises that will help improve your running? The answer is no…and no.


A running class, my dear friends, is literally a class where you either run on the spot or run in a circle around the class…FOR A FULL HOUR.

Okay, I am exaggerating just a bit. The instructor does try to mix it up by including lunges of death, suicidal squats and killer push-ups in between sets of ‘running’. My point is that these classes can’t be good for you because firstly, we ran in the same direction around the class each time. Don’t even ask what that’s doing to your knees and ankles. Secondly, the whole class is covered in floor to ceiling mirrors and therefore seeing yourself ‘running’ in the mirrors is unavoidable. Thirdly, there is a blonde Barbie ‘running’ next to you and she quite enjoys watching herself ‘run’ while thrashing her ponytail so wildly that every now and then you get a mouthful of hair or a whip across the face.

I will admit that even though I am skeptical about classes like these, I was pretty pooped afterwards. The best part about the class was the instructor. She kept us all amused with her pelvic gyrations to Mango Groove, hysterical screaming and the occasional inappropriate comment about her futile sex life. It’s no wonder her classes are brimming with people of all ages and sizes. I have to admit, if I get dragged to one of her classes again, I will gladly participate…as long as it’s not a ‘running class’ and I don’t have to stand next to Gym Barbie.